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Annie : I'm Still Here
Diary entry posted Fri 3:35pm 23 December 2005

December 23

Hi everybody!

Thanks so much for checking in on me, I really appreciate it. I'll bring you up to date on how the surgery went.

First, I am SO glad I booked the 6:3o am time slot; it left me little time to get really nervous although I will say, I arrived at the surgery center with a huge knot in my gut (and I don't think it was due to the lack of food!). I was able to get the anesthesiologist I requested which was really nice. This is the third surgery with him. He did my IV really nicely and since I am a total needle phobe, that was helpful. I also brought my surgery CD to listen to which is always helpful as well. I think the most nerve-wracking part of this was knowing it was a totally elective surgery and pushing away those negative "Gosh I hope I am not screwing up" thoughts. I also just wanted to get it over with and get on with the recovery and over with the after-pain part. The surgery went really well; all the screws and the plate came out really easily, with not too much chiseling away to get to them (a big yea there!). I had a difficult time for some reason waking up from the anesthesia, and was delayed getting released by about an hour. I was sent home with my little baggy of screws and the plate, and basically felt pretty good. In retrospect, and now 48 hours post-op, I now know that was because some of the anesthesia was still having an effect and certainly the local anesthesia was helping. I hopped around on my walker (amazing how that all came back so quickly) and even tried putting a little weight on the foot. My husband was amazed I even tried. Then yesterday hit and everything had worn off. To be brutally honest, yesterday was MISERABLE. All those weird painful sensations were back, you know, the ones we all wrote about on our diaries; the lightning bolt "I'm getting zapped" sensation, the whooshing "my toes are going to blow off the end of my foot" sensation, the burning of the incision sensation, etc. Yesterday I really wondered if I had made a huge mistake and how long I was going to have to put up with all that again. I even took some of the pain meds I had left (how I hate those things!). Well friends, today I am happy to say is much better. The pain is probably 60% better (I'm off the meds), and I am even trying to toe-touch again. Oh my, thank the good Lord for that. I am back to being hopeful that the recovery from this surgery will be nothing like the first for the break, and optimistic for the future, hardwareless.

Now, something I did not expect. As I sat at my kitchen table this morning I gazed at my baggy of screws and the plate and burst into tears. I guess the physical and emotional trauma of the last year was brought back staring at those little screws. It's like looking at them made it all very real for me. What a long, at times bizarre, experience this has been. With this surgery over, it's time to move forward again.

As for what's ahead for me, I can gradually start adding weight to my foot as I feel comfortable, and next Tuesday I go to get my stitches removed. That's always fun. It will be probably six weeks to let the holes fill in before I will do about 2 weeks of PT again. At that point, I hope this chapter in my life is completed. I know I will always deal with the impact of the break, but it will take a distant place somewhere. I will not, however, ever forget my MBL friends. I said it before my surgery, I really wish there was some kind of an MBL reunion or something. How fun would that be! Anyway, I am still here, plugging along, and will keep you all posted as I progress along in this recovery. My wish for the year ahead, is that all of you have healthy, happy days throughout the year filled with lots of love and laughter. All the very best to you!!!Annie

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 Fri 3:35pm 23 December 2005
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