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Annie : Four Months (16 weeks) and Counting
Diary entry posted Sun 10:38am 1 May 2005

May 1

In some ways it is hard for me to believe that 16 weeks have passed since I broke my leg; in other ways it seems like another lifetime has passed. In that time I have become intimately familiar with terms I never thought I would, like tri-malleolar fracture, hardware (and not the fun kind), BAPS boards, and OS. I have been faced with fears I never expected, like realizing that every visit to the OS is a make-or-break event so important to indicating the quality of one's recovery, or wondering if I would ever walk truly normal again. I have been hit with the strangest versions of pain I could ever imagine, which seem to migrate around my ankle for no good reason, and which seem to come and go for no good reason as well. At times this break seems to have a mind of its own with a plan of recovery totally unknown to me. I can go along well for weeks with almost no swelling, then out of the blue it can appear, then out of the blue it can disappear as well. The pain works in just about the same way.

Throughout this journey, I have discovered determination I did not know I possessed, and the ability to work through pain and discomfort I didn't know I could. I have also remembered so clearly why 22 years ago I fell in love with my husband; he has hauled me everywhere I have needed to go, cooked for me, cleaned for me, even bathed me when I was so incapacitated and helpless, and never complained. And hopefully my daughter has learned life lessons, like when life throws you a giant lemon, you'd better figure out how to make a big batch of lemonade.

I have been in Physical Therapy for a little over a month now, and I have made wonderful progress. I still wonder how any one really recovers from a severe break without the benefit of therapy. I have gone from barely being able to walk with any semblance of normalcy to walking almost normally, and having almost no ROM to almost pre-break ROM. And, my last PT session showed me I could do much more that I ever thought I could. Each session brings me just that much closer to my pre-break life. That last statement is interesting to me however. I don't believe I will ever return totally to my pre-break life, and that is a good thing. If we don't learn from life's challenges and become better people for them, what good are they? I have learned so much more compassion for people with disabilities than I ever had; I will never look at them in the same way again. And that is a good thing.

At this 16 week milestone, I would like to take just a minute and thank all you out there in BL land who have communicated with me on this site and given me encouragement and helpful pointers. This site has been such a wonderful find, and so helpful during this process. I send all my best to all of you struggling along in your recoveries from whatever type of break you have. We're all on the same journey, maybe with a slightly different story line, but we all are in a unique club just the same. Continued and speedy recovery to all of you!!!

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 Sun 10:38am 1 May 2005
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