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Emily_V : ptsd pt. 2
Diary entry posted Wed 7:33am 27 February 2019

I've recently experienced an uptick in ptsd symptoms, and I feel like writing it out. Yesterday I went to work by myself, on public transport, for the first time. My trip to work takes about 25 minutes, and includes a serious uphill walk. I caught a tram at 7:00 am to avoid crowds, and it was pretty pleasant overall. I felt quite confident and happy that I was doing something on my own. The return trip was much worse, however, because I was in crowds constantly. I work in a heavily touristic area, and the masses of people are really stressful to manage. I felt overwhelmed and mildly panicked my entire way home. Once I arrived I shed some tears and took a shower to kind of cleanse myself of the bad situation. Today I feel achey from all the crutching and mentally exhausted. I went out earlier to get some sun and I could stop jumping at any loud noise, unexpected movement, and of course, cars.
I can manage my symptoms and I am not avoiding things as a result of them. I'm not self medicating or feeling depressed. Just constantly on edge. My sleep is much better than it was. But going through an upswing in panicky moments is really unpleasant and makes me wonder what to do about it. I feel good about managing it myself, quite confident, in fact, but still. No fun.



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 Wed 7:33am 27 February 2019
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