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Flanagan : a screwy reality
Diary entry posted Sun 4:00pm 19 June 2005

I want to have the loose screw removed. All of the hardware (1 plate/6 screws in Fib) is coming out on Sept 12th, but I don't want to wait until then to have the screw removed. Tomorrow I'll call my OS, and see if he will make an appt to take it out.
At this point, I can't wear flat shoes, or walk in bare feet without feeling a sharp electrical shock or a sharp jab with each step that I take. Sometimes there is a burning pain.
Today I took my son to a large park to see an Art Show. Ordinarily I would have worn flat shoes (Birkenstocks) to a park where I'd be doing alot of walking around. I had to wear my high wedge shoes, because I wanted to walk pain free, limp free. I'm concerned about damage that may be occuring due to the constant irritation of the loose screw. If it's causing this much pain, what's it affecting inside my leg?
I think that he will consent to take it out before my September 12th hardware removal appointment.
On a lighter note, I have hardly any stiffness left on the top of my ankle. I think that's the reason why I am able to do a much improved toe point now.
I still cannot rise up onto the ball of my foot due to the hardware though. Nor can I bend my knee deeply without feeling the hardware restricting the bend. It's really obvious to me now where all the problems are originating from. I've also figured out the reason why I lose my balance if I try to stand on the mended foot. As usual, I've got to analyize everything to death. lol

The reason is due to the fact that all of my weight goes immediately onto the outer part of the foot and ankle when I'm standing on it, instead of being evenly distributed throughout my foot. I'm learning to pull my weight towards the inner part of the foot when I'm standing on it. When I can do it, I can balance. It's like a tug of war though. At the same time I'm pulling my weight to the inner part of my foot, the outerside(hardware side) is pulling the other way, and I will catch my balance before I fall towards my left side. Always to the left side. The other reason for balance loss is because I cannot adjust the amount of knee bend when I become unsteady. There is very little up and down motion.

On a dumber note, I can do cartwheels once again. A month ago I wouldn't have even considered trying one due to ankle instability and lack of calf strength. I'm okay NOW. I still feel exactly the same when I'm doing a cartwheel as I did when I was 6. I'm glad that I never stopped doing them.

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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than
money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more
important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Charles Swindoll
(1934-, American pastor, author)

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 Sun 4:00pm 19 June 2005
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