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 Broken Leg, Mental Health, and Loved Ones
Patrick A (73.109.58.---)   2:18am Jul 23 2018

Hi everyone Im Patrick, Im in my early 30's and I broke my ankle real good a month ago tripping over a crack in the sidewalk and ended up with a titanium plate with 8 screws in the tibia and 2 bolts holding together the fibula. I also ended up with two knee contusions, but they were wrecked from a freak accident at a friends bar mitzvah years ago anyway. It hasn't been the pain or the trauma of the event thats gotten to me, although missing out on summer has given me some bad cabin fever. Its the inability to be independent. Its still too painful/exhausting to even stand on crutches long enough to make a dumb meal like buttered noodles. I can't carry anything. Everything is SO RIDICULOUSLY HARD, but thats fine its needing the help of others to accomplish these things. Im a very patient person, but being completely dependent on others to do everything for me has been making me resentful. I feel like Im shirking my responsibilities and being an extra burden on others. Im really feeling a lot of shame that I have to rely on people right now. Ive had preexisting depression/PTSD that has been able to be managed by medication, but its fair to say Im back in it. The whole thing is cyclical; feel bad about myself, lash out at people who help me, then feel even worse for treating well meaning people like that. I should be over the moon that Im blessed with people in my life who care about me enough to help. Does anyone know if this is normal, have any suggestions, or tips for trying to keep your sanity? Thanks -P

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 Broken Leg, Mental Health, and Loved Ones  new
Patrick A  2:18am Jul 23 2018

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9 December 2019