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 I Donít Know How to Cope, I feel useless
Jessa    7:53am Apr 25 2020

Hello all,

I broke the top of my tibia a few days ago, I was walking in the evening like I do every night (masked of course) with my dad and my dog. Itís something we do every evening and we look at city lights and itís incredible and I get to bond and spend quality time with my dad. So that day my dog was running around and chasing a toy and as a large 90 pound puppy he doesnít always pay attention and so he ran toward his toy which was by me and he ran straight into the side of my knee knocking me to the ground with excruciating pain. My leg swelled up and was in so much pain. But, itís such a critical time for Covid that I hesitated going to the hospital until the next day because the swelling and pain were unbearable. It turned out he had broken the top of my tibia. I have a large family that I live with and my momís health is fragile and my dad is law enforcement so we try to keep her shielded from him during Covid as much as we can even though she never listens, and me and my sister share the housework and cooking and chores and taking care of my nephews. So I broke my leg and I am not only struggling with the exhaustion of just going to the bathroom on crutches (I have Gravesí disease and tachycardia), but also struggling heavily with the loss of the time I spend with my dad, the loss of mobility and having to rely on my sister who is stretched thin taking care of my mom, her 2 kids and now me. I feel shame asking for anything, and all I do is cry because I feel so hopeless and lost. I canít just get up and go to the bathroom I have to make calculated moves so I donít put weight on my broken leg. And I canít just go up and down the stairs to get a glass of water or snack.

There are those feelings combined with the utter hopelessness of the Covid crisis, fear for my parents and siblings and other family, I used to be able to bleach everything every night to ensure cleanliness and I canít do that anymore and I panic and Iím in constant fear. I want my dad to retire a year early in May but heís hesitant because he doesnít want to lose the income, which I understand but I want him to be safe. I just feel hopeless and lost and afraid and stressed, my hair is falling out Iím constantly in fear, and with my leg now itís added a completely different type of isolation and pain.

Can anyone else relate to this?

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 I Donít Know How to Cope, I feel useless  new
Jessa  7:53am Apr 25 2020
 Re: I Donít Know How to Cope, I feel useless  new
JG in Idaho  6:14pm Apr 25 2020
 Re: I Donít Know How to Cope, I feel useless  new
Jessa  6:44pm Apr 25 2020
 Re: I Donít Know How to Cope, I feel useless  new
JG in Idaho  7:26pm Apr 25 2020
 Re: I Donít Know How to Cope, I feel useless  new
Nicola Stan  9:41am Apr 27 2020

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26 May 2020