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Missy_L : I'm so done!!
Diary entry posted Tue 12:41pm 8 November 2011

I don't know if I am mentally going to last this whole stupid broken bone crap. I am stir crazy already. I hadn't had a shower since 10/27 and by now I was starting to offend myself. After asking my husband several times to help me wash up, I took it into my own hands. I got all of my clothes in and put them next to the toilet. Next I got the plastic step stool my puppy has been using to get up and down from our bed into the bathroom and into the tub. Then I got a towel. Then I got the 2 rolls of plastic wrap and press n seal wrap and started rolling my leg up in it to make it as waterproof as possible. I turned the water on and in storms my husband screaming at me, wanting to know what the hell I was doing. So I told him, exactly what it looks like I am doing...getting ready for a shower! So then I had to stand there and listen to him yell at me that I could fall and that my cast could get wet and that eventually he would have gotten me washed up (mind you, I have been asking him for DAYS...and it was now 12 noon). So I just got into the shower and everything worked out fine...I felt so much better being clean...but my cast did get wet in the back a little so i just hit it with the blow drier and its fine now. Plus its going to get changed this afternoon anyway at the drs office.

So I just got yelled at AGAIN because I was up on my feet, leaning over, picking up the scattered papers on the floor that I have been asking to have picked up before i fell on them...that never were. God forbid should i ask them to pick anything up that poses a tripping accident for me. For instance, the day that I broke my leg I had gone through the laundry and filled 2 bags full of donations and tied up the bags and put them in the livingroom to be taken to one of those donation bins. Well they are still in the livingroom, but our puppy has graciously torn the bags open and has been taking 1 item out at a time and has left the bags in the hallway that I need to use to leave my house. Its now almost 2 weeks since those bags were put there...and every day I am tripping over them with these damn crutches. Ive asked several times to have them picked up and nope, they are still there.

Am I pissed off? Completely. My leg is killing me. So are my hands and wrists from the crutches. So is my back and my neck and my ass from having to stay in bed for so long. Its like having to talk to the wall when i need to ask for help. The resentment in this house is so thick you can cut it with a knife. My husband has had 2 surgeries in the past 2 years on his leg because he was somewhere he had no business being, fell on public property responding to a fire as a volunteer when he had called in sick for his fire fighting position in another town. Was I pissed at him for that? Of Course!!! he is our only source for income because he does not want me working because our youngest son is autistic. Thinking back, I wasn't too nice to him the first go around with his knee. But I bent over backwards to help him. I guess now is my payback.

I try not to ask for help from anyone in this house because i #1 normally dont get a responce and #2 they act like its soooo hard to stop what they are doing to help. So I just do for myself. I dont complain about the enormous pain that I am dealing with. Why, so they can bitch that all they hear is me complaining? Hell no. Honestly, I wish that everyone would just leave so I can get done what needs to get done....laundry, dishes, etc.

I have a doctor appointment today to check on my stitches and staples and all the bolts and screws sticking out of my skin holding my leg in place and to schedule my next surgery. But its my left leg so i am going to beg to drive. Just so i can get out of this house. My husband wont allow any of my friends or family to come see me to visit because our house isn't spotless like he wants it and he wont clean it cause its not his job. So I have my computer and cell phone which i use (and get yelled at for using) just to keep in contact with people.

So I am done yapping. Sorry to vent but I literally have no one to vent to.



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 Tue 12:41pm 8 November 2011
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