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Sue3 : Week 12
Diary entry posted Thu 1:41pm 28 August 2014

Week 12

X-Ray was Monday, union is starting to build and hardware looks good. The surgeon explained that pointing the toe is going to be the last thing to come back. He also said I could drive, that I wasnít going to hurt the union by going about normal activities to the best of my current ability. I got a CD of the imaging and reports to give to my PT. The surgeon also said I should start on deep tissue massage of the ankle using Icy Hot or Tiger Balm, to break up the scar tissue.

He didnít see the need for another follow up or X-ray, but I figured I might as well check back in 3 months anyways. I hit my health insurance deductible and everything is 100% covered for the rest of the year, so why not.

Tuesday I was home sick, so I rested my leg a lot. Wed the foot and leg felt pretty good, not much pain. But Thurs and Fri omg, it was stiff, and hurting a LOT. I had PT on Friday which involved stretching and trigger point release. It felt much better after that, but it is amazing how quickly the ankle will start to tighten up again.

The PT told me I donít need to wear the brace anymore - which is exciting news! Itís mid-June and the weather has been beautiful, time to get the sandals and cropped pants out! I have no idea if I am going to be able to shove my foot into any shoes I own, though. Iím also leery about giving up my ankle brace, so what I plan to do is not wear it at home starting tonight. I will wear it when I go out, or to work, for the next week, and see how stable I feel by the end of it. I know I have to do it, because the stress on my left hip and inside of my left knee tells me Iím still not walking evenly and the last thing I want is to have pain in my NON broken leg. Grrrr.

He also wants me to give up my crutches. Thatís just as scary as giving up my brace, because I know my leg is still weak. I can use a cane though, so I will be giving that a try at home and at work.

I understand that I canít injure myself again, but the brace and the crutches are my security blankets. I realize from re-reading that I was just as scared to give up my knee scooter, or give up my air cast. I know I will be fine, and that I need to wean myself off and (chuckles) ďstand on my own two feetĒ so to speak. Still, when you still have a hard time going down stairs, itís not easy. I realize that this is more of a mental challenge than a physical challenge. I am naming my fear in order to let it go.

It seems reasonable to me that once the brace is off, recovery will speed up again because the entire foot and ankle will be engaged and using the muscles and tendons. I was so incredibly lucky I didnít tear any major tendons. I try not to think too far ahead, and take it one week at a time, one day at a time, but itís SUMMER and I want to get out and do things! I need to get out and do things, because I have lost three months so far. My impatience is brimming and itís frustrating not being able to move as fast as you want, maneuver as easily as you expect, or not have pain.

Pain. Probably my biggest fear. The pain has been near-constant the last few days and pain really wears you down quickly. Iíve been putting off taking some ibuprofen, but I think that when you need to take pain medication, itís okay to take it. Iím going to try an experiment, and take pain medication until my ankle feels better. I suspect the pain is due to stiffness more than anything else, and if I can move more easily and with less pain, I will be less stiff, so itís a self-solving problem. Thatís the theory anyways. Iíll let you know how it turns out.

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 Thu 1:41pm 28 August 2014
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